oHh i'm in san diego! i'm cool..haha memorial day weekend..i leave tomorrow! this is cool..watch it!

saturday mornin i'm goin to san diego once again! its for the memorial day weekend. my friend katie's drivin to so-cal to see her parents and i'm taggin along coz i wna go to San Diego! wut Wut! i'm excited but yeh at the same time i'm not coz i'd be leavin my girl here! boO!!! but yeah i'll be back Yah KNoW! gahh i'm so lagging on my externship stuff! i wish its all donE fOR! startin when i get back i'll work on this ShiT LIke a Procrastinating moFo! anyways san diego awaits! later PeepS

la la ta da da.. i love to go da da..la ta da didoo daaa

hmmMM i wrote stuff...where did it go?

slouching on my chair, thinkin of whats ahead, tryin to figure things out, ass startin to hurt, sittin on my pillow, yawning, thinkin of food, flippin through channels, spongebob, typing, long pause........
ok now that im done brainstorming! its time to write! well. as you can see, i'm bored. its saturday and i miss my "girlfriend" Liz!! i didnt really clarify that in my recent blogs but today i did. well..she's at work ya see, she was here last night. we watched Ocean's Eleven. what a great movie. anyways she left this morning to work and i'm longing for her once again. my feelings for her are extremely deep. deep like "Whoa thats deEP!" its unimaginable. i love her, i miss her, and "i wish YOU (liz) were here". as she left this morning i realized how much she means to me. i cant imagine how life in hawaii would be without her. hopin that she would get hired in hawaii so we can be closer. i wish everything will work out and i'm lookin forward to what lies ahead.

emo glasses?!? how is it emo? are my emotional expressions better than before? does my facial expression show EMONESs? haha..do i look cute?!? (answer not required) it makes me look nerdy! i love it! thanks babEe liz for yer gifT! i'm once again EMO!!!

shit...my roomate came back! what an asshole! he's on drugs again! he asks too much..what a fag!

oOo..here's what i did for my ADV. Baking and PAstry class.

its a chocolate/coffee cheesecake on a hazelnut crust, topped off with a tulips spiral thingy, a raspberry/creme anglaise sauce on the side, and berries on top of a leaf icing. its sooooOOoo good! oh yeh here's me and my creation.

yEaHhHhHh how hoTTTT! haha..me i meant...err..the food..lol..anyways here's my gal liz and her kitty..its kinda blurry but still kyoooooT!!!!

aww how cute..they look alike!!!! HOTTT..lol ok i'm done..oh..my roomate's not here..i'm so happy..hahahahahha! he's a JERK! haha..yes its so true..ok i'm done..bye

nothing

its friday night... chillin like a villain... realizin how it feels to be bored once again! hmMm. video games sounds good.. i was at the bar earlier but i didnt really want to drink. my friend bought me a mix of somethin. vodka and granitas i think. whatever that was. i have a headache. i think its coz of the loud music. but hmm music helps me think better. my friend hanh is here in frisco. i'm gna take her and her friends out to the HAIGHT and then to the park tomorrow! sounds like fun doesnt it. there's lotsa things to do in frisco as long as you know how to get there yah knowww. anyways i hope more people from san diego can visit me coz none of you peeps ever did visit me. its all good though my time here is gettin shorter. i gtg play games. later

hmm..an ant and a giant cherry.

yay i'm 20 years old! hAH!

done being a teen

as of tomorrow, i will be losing my TEENity. embracing the ADULT-hood should be an easy task but all i can think of is, "am i ready?" well, as far as i know, almost everyone in the twenty's are such a total goof-balls. only a few are serious at their age and the rest are just living the life like they used to. i figured that i would still be me. at the same time, i would probably change in ways such as becoming a lot more matured than what i am now. well, being immature is what i'm good at so i wouldnt really dissipate that from my personality. hmmm, enough about my retardness, lets talk about JELLO-shots!!!!...its vodka + jello mix + sugar, mix them together and boil it with some water....pour on a lil dixie cup..an ounce or so..or however much you'd like in a shot..and then let it settle and harden...chill in the fridge...when hard..take shots..with spoons.haha..its soo good that you wont realize that yer so fucked up by the end of the day after eating 20 cups of jello...haha! yes i had those yesterday at my friend's house! and wow i drank 7 bottles of beer! and i dont even like beer! its gross haha..weirdness. well then i'm done thinking about being old and yeah have a nice life!

SoOoOoo sleepy...!

follow my heart and my instincts?...dO.ob...hmmMmm

gahHhH!~ i dont know anymore~! making decisions is hard....

how do i feel

tday...this entry would seem weird because of the use of such big, buff, strong, n powerful words.. i just want to exercise my mind and my vocabulary... i cant remember if i ever did write in this format but yeah haha i'm smart..and just bare with it..it may sound like its not me..but ohh yes it me writing..this topic is so MONUMENTAL for me coz i never did have an issue like this so just read and have a handy dandy thesaurus.. unless yer genius..like your mom!..

Considering how i feel, love-wise, is such a hard task for myself in ways that i just cant imagine how stupid love can be. it plays with your heart, mind, consience, hopes, and desires, and its just too much to endure. Isnt it odd how people would assume things that you would never realize you had meant. By that i refer to people who understands the opposite of what you're trying to tell them. well this journal entry evolves around how i feel for a special girl and how it overshadows how i feel about another.

i have never experienced an issue that involves two of my closest female friends whom i have learned so many things from. from these people, i've learned so much that i decided to change my whole aspect of socializing. i've learned that it would be better for me to open up to everyone rather than in keeping things within me to torment and destroy myself. well, that is a dreadful thing to say but it is true. i once kept everything to myself and it basically turned me into one of those people who would do nothing for fun and waste time doing nothing. and so, now i'm in such an emotional overdrive because of what had happend during the past two weeks. i've heard things that i should and shouldnt know from their friends and from the person who i like.

from my understanding, one of them have and still has an attraction towards me but she is flawless in concealing the facts. with this on hand, my feelings were beginning to move towards her closest friend whom now i desperately like. with these facts, i figured that "I dont know what to do!"(-ivan). whether or not i act on how i feel, it seems like the outcome is predictable because i wouldnt do a thing, but i did, i've summoned my inner self to talk things through. confrontation wasnt the option i'm considering just because i never did like the act of confronting a person in regards of love or hate. i only have the courage to confront one of them, the one i like. but on the other hand, the other whom i treated as a sister, who was liking me more and more, is beginning to understand how i feel towards her friend. all i'm worried about is how she would act in regards of the confusion and the complication that i have endured upon her.

in conclusion, PLEASE HELP.

complications running through me..cant understand what i feel...dont know what to do, how to act, where to go... EMO? hmMm..overwhelmed by emotions. reflecting on what i've done and what i havent done...sitting...reading.. absinthe? drank a couple of shots the night before.. drinking doesnt change anything! enhances your problems to its maximum pain. suffering..la la la la..the vines..winning days..great cd...