i idolize spider man for his excellent web slingin ability..SPIDER MAN.. YOU ROCK!

i bought DDRMAX2 and a dance pad and people in this dorm are ddr freeeekZ..they think i'm good..but yeh haha josh YOU're better!.. come over here so u can show your moves.>...latEz

huzzahhhhhhh

its the ESsssssssssssssssssssssss.....

today i moved to the dorm across the school..so much hassle moving everything..i realized that i have alot of shit..ahem* worthless stuff..anyways my friends SEAN, KATIE, and TIFFANY helped me move and yeah they're all fabulous..and now i face another problem..where will my bro stay...he's here visiting me for his semestral break and he cant stay at my NEW dorm..their policy sucks..but hey..its hella better than my old room..i have my own desk, bathroom, drawers and alot of space..yeah i freakin finished setting up my side of the room in about 2 hours..record breaking TIme..WOoOHooo..so much fun arranging stuff..u should try it@Q.a;hj;aklwhglkajg,..okey i'm done..bye

baking and pastry is a nice class, i got to bake bisquits and cornbread and tortilla and blue berry muffins

life's a bitch aint it.. why does the world hate me? i wonder why? i feel like uhmm..a bird with no wings and the hunters are after me yet i cant fly for shit.. its a weird feeling..its like i feel worthless, like a granule of dirt.. why do i feel like this? well i cant answer that coz i just dont know..maybe i'm in the matrix and the architect is after me..yeah you've guessd it..i just watched matrix reloaded..DVD..HuzzAhh.. anyways its weird..and this whole internet thing just bores the living zombie out of me. oh yeh i burned myself many times coz of deep thoughts and spaciousness, my left hand looks zombie-ish..its weird..again i used the word "weird." aint that weird?..hmm where's the excitement..i need it..i'm losing control over myself..i must unleash the ivan..the real ivan..right now he's covered with emotional shitness and this shit aint coming off till someone finds out a way to make me feel like myself again.. i'm screwed, i'm such a total joke..jokes of all joksters..boooo..what an outrage..i'm goin crazy...could someone just shoot me...Plaw* Plaw*.. just shoot me is the most retarded show ever..RETARDed!.. "pull the trigger and the nightmare stops" (coheed and cambria) yeah that band rocks the EMO out of me..but not the ivan.. but still its the greatest band alive..thanks to Parker Lemus for introducing me to his PUNK/EMO world or whatever he calls it.. the LORD CATSWORTH world.. this is the end.. plaw* plaw* drops dead..

dear mishelle o'dell... sorry if i'm being retarded lately, i dont hate you, and i understand what happened between you and me. i wish that this never happend but oh well..its a part of life i guess.. and i hope that you and me can still be friends just like old times. now that i think of it..i'm being the asshole this past few days and i dont want u to have the impression that i'm being this way coz of me hating you or whatever. an apology is what i give to you and forgiveness is what i'm asking for.

-ivan

this lyrical message is intended to show how i'm feelin for someone, its not intended to open healed wounds nor make you shit your pants off but to all the broken hearted or the ones recovering from whatever experiences you've had, get this song, sing with it, read it and analyze it, and cry me a river..


Rufio: Just A Memory


The sadness comes when it's least expected
It shot out of the dark, and slammed in our face
The hurt it brings can't be stopped
The hurt it brings can't be cured, oh


Just when I thought things were alright
You came in and broke my heart
My stomach's full of butterflies
The thought of you gone, it tears me apart


I remember you and me when we used to
Laugh all night until we fell asleep, oh
And i know we're through
But i've still got thoughts of you left inside my head


Well... in my head...


The love that I have for you
Is done and dead, it's so far away
And you're still here in my head
And you're still here, you'll never leave my heart


Just when I thought things were alright
You came in and broke my heart
My stomach's full of butterflies
The thought of you gone, it tears me apart


I remember you and me when we used to
Laugh all night until we fell asleep, oh
And i know we're through
But i've still got thoughts of you left inside my head


So stop me now
Stop my thoughts cause you're killin me
But you don't know
Even though we've grown apart
I'll still be there for you
Cause I don't wanna be just a memory to you
Cause I don't wanna be just a memory to you

"You'll take your steps away with hesitance.
Take your steps away from me.
I'm making my peace, making it with distance.
Maybe that's a big mistake.
You know I'm thinking of you.
I miss you."

-jimmy eats world 'cautioners'