ouch!

so today, i cut myself, my right pointing finger and my middle finger. didnt realize that i cut myself til the blood came spilling out. knowing that i was very busy at the time i jumped out and told my sous chef that i was bailing out for a bit. "im bleeding damnit!!!" leaving the kitchen for about 10 minutes while tryin to stop the bleeding, i realized that i cut myself out of carelessness. thinkin about about something maybe...and tonight i realized what that was.....i've been doin the things that leads me to who i am nowadays.....im a fool for believing that the world evolves around me..yet in reality, i evolve within the people around me. i am who am i now because of who im around. pointing that out makes me feel like i dont really know myself..which is true in some instances......like now, knowing that i am drunk...i drove myself home,, hoping that i wouldnt make it..its fucked up how i think about it that way...but what the hell..who really cares????? just me right...i care about myself..and myself only..i should survive for myself and not for someone else.....i mean..the only way to true happiness is knowing yourself..and that i think at this point of my life..i better fucken find myself before i end up getting hurt or hurting someone else.. well.. right now....i better find myself to help me figure out what the fuck is wrong with me. my fingers are numb. fuck!.